um dia de primavera. no photos, more words

we run on unpredictability. I can't make decisions. most of the times this is not a nice thing, don't let the "wild and free" myth fool you. hell, most of the times it is the worst. but sometimes good things come out of it, and everything goes better than expected.

car parked in front of the bus station with your bus leaving in five minutes. my head running as always - what if I miss something really cool, what if something bad happens, what if this what if that. you say goodbye and leave the car. wait!! let's go together tomorrow. you come back inside and laugh. my most favorite kind of laugh is probably this one, the I-can't-believe-we-are-doing-this laugh. 

24h later we were in Porto, watching Rhye. I'm glad it rained, I'm glad everything smells so fresh and how surrounded by green we are. I am so tired of all the trash and the grumpiness in Lisboa that Porto feels like such a breath of fresh air. I feel rested, restored, excited. It's unbelievable for the normal folk how many days can one go by without feeling like this (trust me, so many, too many). 

I danced and threw my hands and feet around frantically and got tear-filled eyes with Lorde, I jumped and badly sang along with Tyler. Remembered a night in the outskirts of Tallinn with Jamie XX (you guys smoked and we saw cool music videos on that boy's big computer screen and then you and me walked home. We had met not that long ago. It was raining. Or snowing, I don't remember well anymore). Then I fell asleep on my baby's shoulder while a noisy techno and blinding lights filled the air. Tried not to fall asleep standing for another 40 minutes to let him enjoy the dj he really wanted to see. We went home, I stepped on poop and fell asleep as soon as the lights went out.

we wake up, go for a walk. grey concrete and plants, I love that so much. we say goodbyes, you stay and I come back home because I'm starting to know my limits and how important it is to not ignore them and it's ok to miss some things sometimes. um dia bonito. living a fear-ridden life is a pain in the ass. but sometimes is good to let fear guide you. only sometimes.